Understanding
by naioka1992
Summary: Part of the Evanescence Trials. Bakura's beginning to understand...see what you make of it. minor tea bashing, no pairings, angsty randomness. rated for depressingness.


Understanding

**Disclaimer:** I don't own YGO or Evanescence or the song "Understanding"

NOTE: **_Song lyrics_**

_Bakura's thoughts_

Chapter 1 –

**_You hold the answers deep within your own mind.  
Consciously, you've forgotten it.  
That's the way the human mind works._**

_The human mind had always baffled me. Not even science could _really_ explain how it worked._

_**Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us  
to entertain, we reject it.  
We erase it from our memories.**_

_The Pharaoh lost his memories…so sometimes we don't really have a choice._

_**But the imprint is always there.**_

_True…the Pharaoh had some feelings from his memories…which proved they were just forgotten consciously._

_**(Can't wash it all away)**_

_You can't wash sins away._

_**(Can't wish it all away)**_

_You certainly can't wish them away._

_**(Can't hope it all away)**_

_Hope won't work either._

_**(Can't cry it all away)**_

_Crying makes the pain grow harder._

_**The pain that grips you**_

_Pain is my familiar friend now._

_**The fear that binds you**_

_I've learnt to block out fear._

_**Releases life in me**_

_Yet I find it so…amusing to watch others screaming in their own fear._

_**In our mutual  
Shame we hide our eyes  
To blind them from the truth**_

_Why is it that people are afraid to know the truth? As a tormentor, I take great pride in pointing it out to them, telling them it's the truth they fear…and then revelling in their screams a pure peril afterwards._

_**That finds a way from who we are  
Please don't be afraid  
When the darkness fades away**_

_The dark is never completely gone, as all good psychopaths know._

_**The dawn will break the silence**_

_I only like silence when I'm the one causing it. When I'm alone and there's no one to disturb me._

_You get a lot of that, spending countless years trapped in the Ring._

_**Screaming in our hearts**_

_I don't get why people fear the silence. It makes no sense to fear what can help them sense their foes._

_**My love for you still grows  
This I do for you  
Before I try to fight the truth my final time**_

_Love is a foolish emotion too._

_**We're supposed to try and be real.**_

_Why should you try and act "normal" – what is "normal" in this world now? What was "normal" ever?_

_**And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real.**_

_Pain, Suffering, Fear, Terror, Lust…they are the only real emotions you can get. Love and Happiness will never last, because they feed on themselves._

_**Can't wash it all away**_

_Yet I suppose happiness is fun to feel while it lasts…as long as you know it will not stay forever._

_**Can't wish it all away**_

_You can't wish for happiness. Or love. That only makes your heart ache more._

_**Can't cry it all away**_

_Crying is for the foolish, and for those with weak defences._

_**Can't scratch it all away**_

_Self-harming does nothing, trust me, after seeing it happen to so many miserable hosts before, I know that perfectly well._

_**Lying beside you  
Listening to you breathe  
The life that flows inside of you  
Burns inside of me**_

_I read a poem once. An old host wrote it. He was never any good, except for that one piece. Short and dark…sounds like a cross between Yugi and the Pharaoh._

_**Hold and speak to me  
Of love without a sound  
Tell me you will live through this  
And I will die for you**_

_To die for another is a noble act, for sure…but it's also a selfish one._

_**Cast me not away**_

_Doing that will leave the other so pained…even if you are happy they are safe._

_**Say you'll be with me  
For I know I cannot  
Bear it all alone**_

_Not all pain can be taken alone. I know that, but that's beside the point._

_**You're not alone, honey.  
Never... Never.**_

_Never alone? That's not possible. Somewhere inside of you, you are always alone._

_That even applies to a weirdo like Tea._

_**Can't fight it all away**_

_Fighting can push it away…for a while._

_**Can't hope it all away**_

_Hope has never helped me, though it is a nice idea, in a way._

_**Can't scream it all away**_

_Screaming just makes them feel superior…or worse, they feel sorry for you._

_I hate that emotion._

_Sympathy_

_**It just won't fade away, No**_

_Something like that can never fade away._

_**Can't wash it all away**_

_Not even the strongest of cleaning spells would help erase it all._

_**Can't wish it all away**_

_Wishing does nothing but raise false hopes._

_**Can't cry it all away**_

_Crying brings attention, and I have never appreciated that for crying._

_**Can't scratch it all away**_

_Why harm yourself when you can take it out on others?_

_**(Can't fight it all away)**_

_Fighting works for a while…never forever._

_**(Can't hope it all away)**_

_Hope won't work and neither will wishing._

_**Can't scream it all away**_

_Screaming…what's the point?_

_**Ooh, it all away  
Ooh, it all away**_

_Emotions really **are** tiresome, I find._

**Wow, so random and slightly depressing. Eh, whatever. Please review, much thankies for reading, naioka1992 - xoxo**


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